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About Iasi

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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So, I roll into town, right? First stop, Strada Principala. I’m just tryna grab a coffee at that little café, you know the one? The one with the weirdly shaped pastries? Yeah, that place. I order my usual, and the barista—bless her heart—totally messes it up. I mean, how do you mess up a simple cappuccino? I’m like, “C’mon, it’s not rocket science!” But whatever, I just take it and chug it down.